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Don’t Marry a Man, Lease One

It is a fairy tale story. Man meets woman, they fall in love and death do us part. It’s what lies in between the love and the death part that is the tricky stuff.

I have been married twice and I am an expert on the subject. I claim no outstanding education on this topic, no big fancy college diploma or elite job position. I have learned about marriage by doing. I have been married for about 30 out of my 50 adult years. I have been married more than I have been single. I believe I have earned the right to have an opinion.

So I am going to get right down to it. Ladies, don’t marry a man, lease one. Now before you start critiquing my good advice, listen closely. Marriage is one of the biggest and most important decisions you make in your life. Who you marry will determine much of how the rest of your life will go.

Yet we make this life altering decision based on our feelings. We get married because we love our man. Period. We don’t realize that marriage is not only an emotional decision, it is a business contract. From the day that you sign that marriage certificate, you have entered into a binding contract that you are now, we.

50% of marriages end up in divorce but this is no big revelation. Everyone knows that. Still, time after time, woman make the decision to get married before we really know what we are getting into.

You wake up one morning roll over and look at the man sleeping next you and think, “Boy, I made a big mistake!” The love of our lives, turns out to be a bad decision. So we get divorced and these divorces are to say the least, yucky. Man and wife are angry, are hateful, are uncooperative. This is not the best time to decide things like who stays in the house or  who get the kids on Christmas.

So everyone gets a lawyer. It takes about a year and a whole lot of money to make these decisions through the court.  This is how it has to go because, the man you married and vowed to love, is now fighting you on everything. There is a better way.

Yes, there is. Get divorced, before you get married. You read that right. Before you walk down the aisle, make all the hard decision about your divorce. You see, then all the hard decisions are made when everyone is in love.

Sit down with your fiancee and think about the next 10-20 years. Will you have kids, buy a house, leave your job to become a stay at home mom? Will you get a dog, a cat, buy some new furniture? Think of every scenario, and then divide it all up. Decide the really hard issues, while you love each other. Then write it all down, sign it  and go get it notarized. You have just signed a contract and you have yourself a divorce, before the wedding.

I like to think of my marriage as a lease. I didn’t buy the husband, I just leased him. I didn’t promise him forever, I promised him 5 years or 10,000 miles whichever comes first. Every 5 years we pull out our lease agreement and then we have the option to renew the lease or opt out. And because of that, I have happily ever after.

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